


Deserving

by Dociro



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Post-Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:53:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dociro/pseuds/Dociro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor is hesistant about getting intimate with Rose, he thinks he doesn't deserve her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Deserving

**Author's Note:**

  * For [galaxxyfreak](https://archiveofourown.org/users/galaxxyfreak/gifts).



Rose was hiding from the Doctor, and the TARDIS was helping her so she was doing it very effectively.

It all started the day before. They reunited after Krop Tor, said goodbye to the crew and somehow end up snogging on the jump seat. After few moments the snogging transformed into something more, and it was when the red lamp lit up in the Doctor’s head.

He broke the kiss and stand up with his mouth open and big frightened eyes. 

“Rose I…”

“It’s nothing Doctor. I’m sorry!” She said and run away leaving him standing there alone.

It was last evening, and since then the Doctor was moping around, because the TARDIS refused to let him close to Rose and after the last few days her arms was the only place he wanted to be.

It wasn’t that the Doctor didn’t want something more with Rose, he wanted it so much it scared him. But he was afraid, because she was so young and full of life, and he was old and had seen too much. He has done all the bad things, killed his own people, and she was so pure. He couldn’t do that to her, couldn’t make her share that burden with him. He simply thought that he didn’t deserve her. 

He was afraid of the sex alone too. What if he wasn’t good enough or what if she wouldn’t enjoy it? It would make things awkward and he would lose the most important person for him, and he couldn’t let that happen.

Although, maybe he has already lost her. She definitely wanted something more. He knew it before that what happened last evening. He had seen the way she looked at him, he had even smelled the lust many times. She tried to make a move last night and he rejected her. Maybe she will not want to stay with him in the TARDIS anymore. Maybe she will emerge from her room only to tell him to take her back home. He will be alone again. Maybe that’s the only thing he deserves.

The Doctor tried to keep himself busy, first he started to read something, but a few times he caught himself at reading the same line. Then he tried to tinker with the TARDIS, but she was still mad at him and made the job difficult. Eventually, he decided to grab something to eat. Again, the TARDIS wouldn’t let him find the galley. She clearly wanted him to die, if not from longing for Rose then from hunger.

After a twenty minute long argument she kindly allowed him to find it. He immediately understood why she didn’t want him to go inside. There by the stove he saw Rose. She was standing with her back to him, but she clearly was still miserable and upset. He thought of leaving her alone, but he quickly changed his mind because after all it was the thing he wanted since yesterday.

The Doctor wasn’t sure if Rose heard him opening the door so he cleared his throat to communicate that he is there. When she still didn’t turn to him he decided to come to her. He leaned against the kitchen cabinet and stayed silent for few more seconds.

“Hi.” He eventually said, his voice weak.

She said nothing, but he saw tears in her eyes even though she tried hide her face from him.

He couldn’t stand it, “No, no, no… Rose, please don’t cry. Please, I don’t want you to cry.”

She only started crying more openly. The Doctor’s heart broke.

“Come here.” He opened his arms and offered an hug. She shook her head and moved away.

The Doctor came closer and hugged her anyway. She fought for a moment, but eventually gave up. He hugged her tightly and started whispering some comforting words.

After some time she stopped crying and was only sobbing.

The Doctor took her by the arm and looked in her eyes, “I think we should talk about what happened.”

“You want to talk about it?” Rose asked with disbelief in her voice.

“Of course I want to talk. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I don’t know, just thought you would want to leave it and pretend that nothing happened. And I don’t think I can do it like that, Doctor. Our life here could be a little difficult after that. I’m rather relieved that you want to talk.” She said and wiped her eyes.

“I was afraid you would want to leave me. You will not, will you?” He asked with fear in his eyes.

“Of course I won’t. How could I?” She hugged him more tight.

“I was so scared Rose, because I have clearly hurt you and that was the last thing I wanted.”

Rose interrupted him then, “No that’s okay, Doctor. I was hurt, of course I was, but that’s not your fault. You don’t have to feel the same way about me that I feel towards you. Why would you? I’m just a lucky person who got the opportunity to travel with you, like many others that traveled with you before. I’m not someone special.”

This time it was the Doctor who interrupted her, “No, Rose! Please stop it. You are not allowed to talk like that. You are the most important human being to me. You are wonderful. I’m the one who don’t deserve you. I would only hurt you. And you don’t deserve it. You deserve what’s best in the Universe. And not someone who killed his own people and can’t offer you a normal life.”

She looked at him and smiled not believing what she’s hearing, “Doctor you can’t be serious. You keep saying how awful you are and how you don’t deserve anything, but you are the most amazing man I’ve ever met. You’ve done so many good things. You’ve saved so many lives. You can’t blame yourself for Gallifrey. You’ve done it because it was the only solution. Just think how many lives you saved by doing it. And I don’t want a normal life, not after all the wonderful things you’ve shown me. I don’t want a boring, normal life. I don’t want some human bloke, working in the shop and living in a small flat. I want to spend my forever with you. It doesn’t matter if we can only be friends and nothing more. As long as I’m with you, here that’s okay. Unless… Unless you don’t want it.” She finished quietly.

“I want it. I want it so much it scares me.” The Doctor admitted.

“Don’t be scared. We can’t lose anything. If we feel the same it’s gonna be okay. And if we don’t try we will only regret it someday.”

The Doctor thought about it for a moment and after it he said, “I think you are right, Rose.” After that he added a little shyly, "Would you mind if I kissed you now?”

“No, I think I wouldn’t.” She smiled brightly and the Doctor captured her lips with his. After few minutes she had to catch some air, so the Doctor moved his attention to her neck.

He found there a place that made Rose gasp. He smiled, proud of himself and she asked him then, “Do you think we can continue it in the bedroom?”

“Oh yes, Rose Tyler! I think we can.” He then took her in his arms bridal style and went out from the galley.

They didn’t left the bedroom for a long time after that.


End file.
